Divorce...

This past week in class we have discussed divorce and how to be able to keep your marriage. We learned that 70% most couples after 2 years of divorce wish they hadn’t divorced. This is because they did not try on their marriage like they should have and felt that they didn’t have anything in common with their spouse. They will not seek to get help and will divorce and move on.

         I feel that when you are struggling you should work through it with your spouse and try all possible options so that you will not divorce, I know that at times it will be stressful but we must remember that we have our Heavenly Father to help us get through the hard times and we can always lean on him for support. I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to take this class and learn more about family and marriage and how we can help ourselves through all the steps that we have learned throughout this class.

Parenthood&Fatherhood

Parenthood & Fatherhood:

 

In class the last couple weeks we have learned the importance of parenthood and also Fatherhood, so I know that I am a little behind so this post is going to cover both topics. We also learned the importance of being involved in your family so that you will know that you care about them and won’t miss out on any opportunities. Work Ethics: Chores: help contribute, work together, save together for (trips, family outings etc.), make your own purchases, job you can choose.

Self- discipline: Bond as a couple, learn the best way to work together.

Purposes of parenting: to learn and to grow, become more like Heavenly Father, to become more like, learn to love in a different way, give those children prepatory experiences, bring skilled workers… contribute, children learn to love, teach values: right and wrong, social psychological skills. We must protect and prepare children to survive and thrive in the world there going to live in. – Michael Popkin

Parenting decisions: communicate of having a child lifestyle, freedom?, happiness, urges, status, religious beliefs.

We also learned the importance of fatherhood and the role that they have on the children and how they should be involved in their child’s life through different ways. When involved you will see child thrive and know that their dad will always be there for them.

Communication:

Communication:

I wasn’t able to get on so I am playing catch up last week in class we talked about the importance of communication. And how it plays a vital role in the family as well as in work, school etc. we  have all seen the importance of communication in a marriage, as well as in families 86% of communication is done non verbally by the way people are reading your body language. I would have never guessed it to be that high for communication but after talking about it more in class it made more sense. We also learned about power in a marriage they are: coercive power, with holding affection, legitimate, expert, referent, informational. We also learned about the council method and how to use it in our home we talked about how the 12 used the council method and I thought it was very interesting it goes like this:

-  speak openly

-frankly

-council: systematic

-consensus: doing something for the group.

-meet every Thursday

- meet in the temple

-meet early to express love and appreciation

- open with prayer

-end with prayer: Thanks and dedicated

- in the end they have chocolate or pie.

I think that communication is very important and that we need to be able to communicate when we are married about things and so it is important to learn more about communication.

COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION:

          This week in class we talked about communication and the importance of it within your family and marriage. 86% of communication is non-verbal were they won’t say what they are thinking and this is what is starting to hurt families they will not talk about things. People think that they have power by: coercive power: avoid punishment, with holding affection, legitimate: spouse ask for something duty to help them out. Expert: spouse has special knowledge, Referent: to please spouse because you love them, Informational: What spouse wants is in best interest.

          We also learned about the council method, when making decisions (12Apostles& First presidency)

-speak openly

-frankly

-Council- systematic

-Consensus- doing something for the group

-meet every Thursday

-meet in the temple

-meet early to express love and appreciation

-open with prayer

-End with prayer thanks and dedicate

-Celebrate with chocolate or pie.

Discuss to consensus: when we get married you need to make choices together so you are stronger together, and involve the Lord.

If you have more questions about the counseling method there is a book by M. Russell Ballard called counseling and the Council.

How to handle a CRISIS...

How to Handle a CRISIS…

 

            Since I forgot to post last week on crisis’s I decided tonight was a better night than ever, to get caught up on my blog. Last week we learned about how to handle crises and what works best. Crisis’s usually increase your stress, emergency, and is a change of routine. In the Chinese culture crisis means danger and opportunity. When a crisis hits for most people you either grow as a family or you pull away from your family.  We need to have resilience to bounce back when a crisis hits. We learned the ABC of crisis’s A= actual event (stressor) B= both resources and responses C= Cognitions (thinking) Total: E= experiences.

            In Proverbs 3:5&6 trust in the lord and he is always there to help us and we can learn from him.  We also learned about mindfulness notice what you’re thinking, assess, and change what you think. Cognitive distortion change for the good or for the worst thoughts that are not true, getting ready for action. Recognize what we are thinking exaggeration how true our these thoughts? Coping Effective: address the problem instead of hurting the other person, they may change beliefs and values.

Sacred

Sacred

         

          In class this past week we have learned about male and females and how they connect emotionally and physically. Males: Refractory period, respond quicker, easier, sexually-emotionally, age 18-19 (peak), attend to each others needs. Females: multiple orgasm, slower, safe- sexually, emotional, age 30+. We learn that male and females connect differently and a women needs to feel safe and nothing bad will happen to her before she is willing to connect physically as well as emotionally with her spouse. We also learned the most important sex organ is your Brain. Brain: Serotonin and Dopamine are tension relievers why oxytocin is bonding. I think that it is important to learn about all these sacred things that we will be prepared for marriage and will understand that everything works out. I’m grateful that we learned about this and how important it is and how sacred of opportunity it is to be with your spouse and share this sacred bond.   

Marriage

Marriage

 

In class we learned about marriage and the importance of marriage, and in the united states marriages happen later between 27 and 28 which means most people are cohabitating or just living alone which means lower birth rates. There are adjustments when you get married and some of those are: Finances, less expression (Intimacy), education, living with the opposite sex, adjust to family, habits, daily routines, expectations, and birth control. We also need to learn how to decision make together and what works the best for your relationship. You are most likely to marry if you have education which means access, goal oriented, resources. Along with religious conservative your beliefs and the law of chastity marriage is important and helps it make it back to our Heavenly Father.