Divorce...

This past week in class we have discussed divorce and how to be able to keep your marriage. We learned that 70% most couples after 2 years of divorce wish they hadn’t divorced. This is because they did not try on their marriage like they should have and felt that they didn’t have anything in common with their spouse. They will not seek to get help and will divorce and move on.

         I feel that when you are struggling you should work through it with your spouse and try all possible options so that you will not divorce, I know that at times it will be stressful but we must remember that we have our Heavenly Father to help us get through the hard times and we can always lean on him for support. I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to take this class and learn more about family and marriage and how we can help ourselves through all the steps that we have learned throughout this class.

Parenthood&Fatherhood

Parenthood & Fatherhood:

 

In class the last couple weeks we have learned the importance of parenthood and also Fatherhood, so I know that I am a little behind so this post is going to cover both topics. We also learned the importance of being involved in your family so that you will know that you care about them and won’t miss out on any opportunities. Work Ethics: Chores: help contribute, work together, save together for (trips, family outings etc.), make your own purchases, job you can choose.

Self- discipline: Bond as a couple, learn the best way to work together.

Purposes of parenting: to learn and to grow, become more like Heavenly Father, to become more like, learn to love in a different way, give those children prepatory experiences, bring skilled workers… contribute, children learn to love, teach values: right and wrong, social psychological skills. We must protect and prepare children to survive and thrive in the world there going to live in. – Michael Popkin

Parenting decisions: communicate of having a child lifestyle, freedom?, happiness, urges, status, religious beliefs.

We also learned the importance of fatherhood and the role that they have on the children and how they should be involved in their child’s life through different ways. When involved you will see child thrive and know that their dad will always be there for them.

Communication:

Communication:

I wasn’t able to get on so I am playing catch up last week in class we talked about the importance of communication. And how it plays a vital role in the family as well as in work, school etc. we  have all seen the importance of communication in a marriage, as well as in families 86% of communication is done non verbally by the way people are reading your body language. I would have never guessed it to be that high for communication but after talking about it more in class it made more sense. We also learned about power in a marriage they are: coercive power, with holding affection, legitimate, expert, referent, informational. We also learned about the council method and how to use it in our home we talked about how the 12 used the council method and I thought it was very interesting it goes like this:

-  speak openly

-frankly

-council: systematic

-consensus: doing something for the group.

-meet every Thursday

- meet in the temple

-meet early to express love and appreciation

- open with prayer

-end with prayer: Thanks and dedicated

- in the end they have chocolate or pie.

I think that communication is very important and that we need to be able to communicate when we are married about things and so it is important to learn more about communication.

COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION:

          This week in class we talked about communication and the importance of it within your family and marriage. 86% of communication is non-verbal were they won’t say what they are thinking and this is what is starting to hurt families they will not talk about things. People think that they have power by: coercive power: avoid punishment, with holding affection, legitimate: spouse ask for something duty to help them out. Expert: spouse has special knowledge, Referent: to please spouse because you love them, Informational: What spouse wants is in best interest.

          We also learned about the council method, when making decisions (12Apostles& First presidency)

-speak openly

-frankly

-Council- systematic

-Consensus- doing something for the group

-meet every Thursday

-meet in the temple

-meet early to express love and appreciation

-open with prayer

-End with prayer thanks and dedicate

-Celebrate with chocolate or pie.

Discuss to consensus: when we get married you need to make choices together so you are stronger together, and involve the Lord.

If you have more questions about the counseling method there is a book by M. Russell Ballard called counseling and the Council.

How to handle a CRISIS...

How to Handle a CRISIS…

 

            Since I forgot to post last week on crisis’s I decided tonight was a better night than ever, to get caught up on my blog. Last week we learned about how to handle crises and what works best. Crisis’s usually increase your stress, emergency, and is a change of routine. In the Chinese culture crisis means danger and opportunity. When a crisis hits for most people you either grow as a family or you pull away from your family.  We need to have resilience to bounce back when a crisis hits. We learned the ABC of crisis’s A= actual event (stressor) B= both resources and responses C= Cognitions (thinking) Total: E= experiences.

            In Proverbs 3:5&6 trust in the lord and he is always there to help us and we can learn from him.  We also learned about mindfulness notice what you’re thinking, assess, and change what you think. Cognitive distortion change for the good or for the worst thoughts that are not true, getting ready for action. Recognize what we are thinking exaggeration how true our these thoughts? Coping Effective: address the problem instead of hurting the other person, they may change beliefs and values.

Sacred

Sacred

         

          In class this past week we have learned about male and females and how they connect emotionally and physically. Males: Refractory period, respond quicker, easier, sexually-emotionally, age 18-19 (peak), attend to each others needs. Females: multiple orgasm, slower, safe- sexually, emotional, age 30+. We learn that male and females connect differently and a women needs to feel safe and nothing bad will happen to her before she is willing to connect physically as well as emotionally with her spouse. We also learned the most important sex organ is your Brain. Brain: Serotonin and Dopamine are tension relievers why oxytocin is bonding. I think that it is important to learn about all these sacred things that we will be prepared for marriage and will understand that everything works out. I’m grateful that we learned about this and how important it is and how sacred of opportunity it is to be with your spouse and share this sacred bond.   

Marriage

Marriage

 

In class we learned about marriage and the importance of marriage, and in the united states marriages happen later between 27 and 28 which means most people are cohabitating or just living alone which means lower birth rates. There are adjustments when you get married and some of those are: Finances, less expression (Intimacy), education, living with the opposite sex, adjust to family, habits, daily routines, expectations, and birth control. We also need to learn how to decision make together and what works the best for your relationship. You are most likely to marry if you have education which means access, goal oriented, resources. Along with religious conservative your beliefs and the law of chastity marriage is important and helps it make it back to our Heavenly Father.

Dating 101:

Dating 101:

           In class today we talked about dating and how it has changed so much in the years. It’s crazy to think how much it will change in the future years as well. Being on campus around BYU-Idaho you may see quite a bit of dating but you may also see a lot and when I say a lot I mean it a lot of hanging out. That’s just what happens up here people would rather hang out then go on a date. I’m not saying all hanging out is bad, but we should have limits on hanging out. Being up here for nearly three years you see the differences there may be some guys who just love dating and then the others who would rather sit at home and play video games. Now I know I can’t place all the blame on the boys that just wouldn’t be fair… girls could take some initiative and ask a guy out. But how many girls feel comfortable doing that? I can say that I don’t it gives you a feel of how hard it is for a guy to ask you out.

          We learn that we will marry who we date and that we shouldn’t wait to be found we need to put forth the effort to be found. There are steps that we talked about in class and they are: 1-know 2- time 3- be worthy of a good person and 4- inspiration. We also learned the functions of dating: 1- Recreation 2- Intimacy and Companionship 3- Mate Selection 4- Status attainment 5- Socialization. There are so many studies out there on dating and hanging out that we learn the importance of what we should do and steps to help us along the way. 

          There are laws of attraction which are 1- Physical Attraction 2- propinquity 3- similarity we are also given the 1- know-quo 2- time (3-6 months) 3- Togetherness (shared activities) 4- Talk (Mutual self-disclosure) we have been learning so much about dating, doesn’t it want to make you jump off your bed or couch or wherever you are sitting right now and get started even if it can be hard and challenging? It may be so worth your time and effort you may even find the love of your life.

          The next thing we discussed was LOVE : there are 4 things that tie in with love and they are 1- Dating 2- Courtship 3- Engagement 4- Marriage. We learn that as we start dating that you can DTR (define the relationship along the way) so you each know a little more than just flying by the seat of your pants.

          Hopefully you have all learned a little more about Dating and Married life, now get out there and start dating. Happy Dating and Good Luck!! J

Learning more about families, and the differences between boys and girls.

        Gospel culture has a great impact! This last week we have learned about cultures and how we would build upon them in our own culture. In my own family we are a pretty close family and it is interesting to look around and see how different families act and how close they are some are maybe more of the “huggy” type while others it is just being with each other.         Everything that we have been learning about has to do with the family structure and how we will act outside of our family structure if we will stay strong in what are parents have taught us. Everyone in the family has an important role that ties us in to the family and the strengths that we have they may all be different but if we all work together they tie in very well.

        I also thought it was very interesting watching that video about how we should raise our boys more like girls and the studies that they did and what parents have done. In a story one of the parents gave her boys Barbie’s and they used them to sword fight. And the difference that are between other boys who like to play with the girls and kitchens it does not make them different and it is not a bad thing if they want to be like their moms it is just what they may see at home.

        We have also learned about same sex attraction and how it starts and some of the studies as well that have been conducted. We learn in the family proclamation that it states gender is an essential part of the eternal identity. We were born the gender that we are supposed to be there was no mistake. In the world today people think that they have been born that way but we learn that we were not born that way that it comes through what people think or what people say. I think that it has been very interesting learning about all the differences and how people think that they may be gay or a lesbian and all the studies that have been conducted.  

Cultural Diversity and Social Class

February 1, 2013

When we all hear the word cultural diversity, people have different views on what they think it means. We all have grown up in a different culture diversity based on some of the things that are family have done. I know that my culture has been influenced on my religion and how I was raised from when I was younger, and the things that adapt around you from your neighborhood that is what I base my culture diversity off of from what I saw how other families cultures were.

    Most of us in this class have the same culture when it comes to the church we live it and love it and of course our here up at BYU Idaho we all our hear to get our education and bring our own cultural experiences up here with us from how we were raised. I have enjoyed learning about others cultural diversities and when we discussed in class what we would like to take from other cultures i thought of different things that would be nice. Some examples are: being a close family as you see in many other cultures, being able to talk to anyone on the street and talk to them like you have known them forever. I think that we all have learned something different from the cultural and diversity section in this class that we would like to use and tie in to our families now or even our future families to help make them stronger. I really enjoyed learning more about social class as well as cultural diversity.

Learning, Learning and more learning!

    So I wasn't able to post as much as I would like about what we learned about last week because I am still trying to figure out the whole blogging world. So this week I figured I would combine both so everyone would know my thoughts or be able to see what I have been learning. I have enjoyed learning the importance of the family and how we need to have family that love and support us.
     We have learned about how birth rate is decreasing and how it will soon affect us. I will be honest I never really put much thought into that and thought about how serious it is and how it is important to have a family and we should talk with our spouse and include Heavenly Father on how many children we should have and how important that is.
  
     This last week we have learned lots of things one of my favorite things that we have learned about is Family Mapping and how family therapists use family mapping when they meet with families to see how they act with one another or how they connect. I really enjoyed learning that and it has made me want to learn more about it so that I can use it with my family, and be able to see how everything in my family connects. I will probably use family mapping either in my career a little bit or with my own family.


   

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Welcome My Little Internet Minions!

Hello- My name is Sara and I'm new to this whole blogging world...but I am very excited! I have always lived life to this quote by William Purkey,

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.” 

Welcome to my blog and welcome to a little sneak peek into the GRAND life of Sara Summers! Welcome to looking into my life, but my opinion, my testimony and every little thing that makes living life a gift.

WELCOME!